Castle

Spent the day wandering around a castle-slash-themepark thing. It started as a castle, and stuff got added on. The castle is called… okay actually I’m just not gonna try spelling the name. I’ll get it wrong, guaranteed.

I’m going to cut off the post here- click the read more whatever if you’re willing to load a bunch of pictures n things.

First off, it was a castle.

It was built on top of an ‘entire oak forest’, which was out down in the water to build the foundation. The ‘oak forest’ bit is apparently where the name is from – it means ‘oak forest’ or something similar.

On the grounds were several hedge mazes. Went through a couple of them. The first one was circular, and tucked in the middle was a little garden.

Inside the castle were dead things.

so

many

dead things.

Other sights from within the castle included Titania’s Dollhouse (or some similar name, I’m trying to do this from memory so gimme a break) – built for a family of faeries over the course of fifteen years. It was like the ‘challenge accepted’ response to that Elizabethan dollhouse with a miniature library and all. (Google it yourself, I’m not gonna find links on my phone.)
In the attic of the castle were a bunch of old toys. I thought the battleships were cool.

Oh, and this creepy little doll. Legend says that, should the doll be moved, the castle’s foundations will vanish or crumble or something poetic, causing the castle to sink into the lake or crumble or something else poetic.

Wrapping up the castle: actual sword, hanging on the wall. Bas-relief, tucked amidst the paintings – I think it was the builders of the castle. The armory door, all armored and stuff, and the armory now converted to toilets. Make your own joke about that.

The gatehouse had been converted to, of all things, a fashion show. I took a couple pictures of old style dress, plus a guillotine and the spiral stairs that I liked the look of.

… I don’t know. It was in the gift shop.

They had ‘Segway tours’ – not actually a tour of anything. Ride a Segway around a course, get a certificate. There are pictures of me in a knight costume, riding a Segway. You will not see them.

Turns out that the guy who owns the castle (and lives there still) likes collecting old stuff. Such as motorcycles – including that last one, which could use a little TLC.

And a Harley-Davidson, because I know some people who’ll look at this and be disappointed without one.

This was outside the (very dark and hard to photograph) “Dracula’s Crypt” thing. Y’know. Just in case.

Firetruck museum! That is all.

In the attic of the building holding all the motorcycles were a lot of cars. Also this Shell fuel truck/mobile gas station. Sitting underneath a bomb.
Random old cars.
And more motorcycles.

There was a cool replica of an old drugstore, and then a room full of creepy dolls. Lots of creepy dolls. Plus one that I was honestly expecting to jump out and murder me.

In my head, I’m referring to this as an ornithopter. I don’t know if that’s the correct term, but I like the sound of it.

A bike where the driver doesn’t interrupt the passenger’s view, and a rather large helicopter.

Some cool cars, including a rather heavy all-electric from 1919. For the ladies.

Finishing up, a slightly disconcerting view into a jet’s missile, and a Bristol double-decker bus.